I think we got used to how good it sounded as it rolled off our tongue each and every time…”I’m sorry.” Think about it, every time you got an incline in “your mind” that you were reacting wrongly, it flowed out so effortlessly – “I’m sorry.” Accepting ownership that wasn’t ours to take over in the first place, but it’s what we do best. I think as women we are taught to be apologetic at all times, even when our own integrity or moralities could be compromised; and that is where the urgency to rectify what’s not wrong with you needs to STOP! It is absolutely foolish to apologize for behaviors that were inflicted by someone else which inevitably made you who you are at this very moment. It is because of our struggles and our breakthroughs that make us who we are…so why do we apologize for it? We as women have become so conditioned to follow-up every flaw, mistake or embellishment of pain perceived by others with “I’m sorry”,  because the remembrance of our imperfections, sometimes we simply cannot bare.

It is important for us to stop apologizing for our actions and especially our emotions that were caused by someone else who never uttered the words “I’m sorry.” Thinking back on previous conversations I have had people I’ve dated, I always found myself apologizing for my high sensitivity. I felt as though me apologizing would soften their perception of me so they wouldn’t think I was overly emotional. But you see, I AM! I had to get to a place of not wanting to accept that part of my mental makeup because that is ultimately who I was as a person. It goes back to not wanting to accept flaws of you that are actually NOT flaws. We as women overly apologize to avoid the criticism and disapproval from others before it even occurs; in a conscious wish to placate and please them at the same time. In one sense rejecting the “rejection” before it even occurs (if there is even one!)  It is a defense mechanism that puts an emphasis on us being flawed, but also forgetting we are human.

Now, I’m not saying in no way apologies are not needed, because right is right and wrong is wrong; that’s a given. However, continuously apologizing for our individuality and creative sense of warmth, passion, sensitivity, or even emotional qualities are traits that we can no longer be sorry for.

 -Sho

 

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