We seem to be living in a world where childhood traumas, unfortunate circumstances, poverty, etc. are taking its tolls on so many of us and are affecting how we eventually grow up into adulthood. Many would think that people will use those challenges to make the best out of life and become a version of themselves that others will not recognize.  They will use those disadvantages that they faced in their childhood as motivation to excel because they want to see what can happen when you do not let obstacles from traumas hold you back from exceeding your purpose. The On the downside of that, you have those other people. The “Woe is me, woe is me” individuals. The people who will literally use those same stones that were stoned as a clutch for every single part of their life. Constantly blaming misfortunes due to past hurt and becoming offended when others around them won’t be in agreeance with them. You see, you control how you choose to heal every aspect including how long it takes you, and exactly the way in which you choose to heal.

…because I was that person continuously blaming all my failures and misfortunes in my traumatic childhood, and was doomed into believing that those years of suffering was the reason behind my future. I would then become so easily offended at individuals who didn’t come to my pity party because they didn’t “understand me” .I was believing the enemy lie that things are not manifesting in their life because of the circumstances and cards they were depth growing up. But an unpopular opinion is that, at some point in our lives, the pity party we throw ourselves must stop. You see, we do not have control over what happens to us; we cannot control the inevitable and hurtful situations that are ordained in our lives, some things are just going to happen. BUT, it is our, (yes re-read that) OUR responsibility to heal ourselves and separate from the agony of the pain inflicted on us. It is important to understand that no one will care about your healing but you, and it is your obligation to give yourself the peace that your spirit has spent years lacking.  

What we must learn to accept is that we will eventually have stop blaming our parents who were not there, the relationship that didn’t end well, the betrayal from a best friend, etc. etc., and learn to look at the lessons while being on that journey that those traumatic situations have taught us.  We all have choices, and you can either choose to sit in the agony of what you can not change or enjoy the journey of healing yourself to become a better version of yourself that you have never seen before….



  1. Always a good read when reading with Sho! This was definitely needed in my life right now. Learning to accept things for what they are and move forward.

  2. Jermecia

    This is so relevant. Your blog relates to a recent post on FB I shared. Its Ironic how I recently acknowledged the behavior and now have no excuse about correcting it! Thanks Sho! You always awaken the truth

  3. You know, I understand these things are easier said than done because there’s a lot of unlearning that needs to take place, but generally I agree with you in this article. When you’re a child, you don’t really know how to handle your emotions, so they tend to control how you act and move through life. However, as an adult, it’s your responsibility to reflect on the past adequately in order to move forward. Thank for sharing this.

  4. Shanel R

    Good read Sho, I have once been in this place multiple times in life. But I have Learned at the end of the day I have to want to change for myself. Learn to pick yourself back up and carry on.

  5. I absolutely understand everything in this blog. We have to own our issues and have that discussion with self and find out where that hurt is. Everyday is another chance to get things right.

  6. Yes! When we take responsibility for ourselves, we take charge in our healing, and ultimately our empowerment to move forward.