You have an amazing and thriving career, you have a luxury car that many can only dream of, you are educated way beyond your years, your credit score is outstanding, and not to mention your fabulous house that you go home too;  but you go home…alone. Centered in the middle of those four walls, sit you and your delusional thoughts that this is happiness. Has it ever crossed your mind that you are actually lonely? Physically having everything, but secretly knowing that you do not have anything;  because you have had this perception that you did not need anybody; especially a man. Remembering those late nights talks that you snuck into the kitchen to hear when your mom and aunts would shout to the ceiling declaring “they did not need a man!” Being invited to innocent girls night out, which always led to your girlfriends-wet eyes while reminiscing on their multiple heartaches, and everyone leaving  “agreeing” with the false perception that “men aint shxt,” and the unforgettable “I can do bad all by myself!”

I get it…”We all know we can,” but who deep down in the depths of their hearts where the love gets deeper and fonder “really want to” with no complaints? I know I surely do not. I know from my own personal experiences of being a self-sufficient and accomplished woman, I’d always figured “what did I need a man for when I can do it all by myself anyway?” But you see with that trivial thinking, it made me realize and come to terms that I secretly did want everything from a companion; all the while shouting the complete opposite. The world we live in today GLORIFIES “independence” like a badge of honor, and in one sense, it completely is! Self-accomplishment and self-love is important and essential and needed for the fulfillment of oneself. However, somewhere between the generational gaps of “millennials and baby boomers,” the importance of companionship has dwindled down and in one sense-many women have developed a destructive mindset that “we do not need nobody!”  “YES WE DO!” We were all created to share a special and indescribable connection with someone, however somewhere in between society telling us we didn’t or even witnessing the generational repetition of “overly independent women” we fell trap and eventually started to believe it.

 It is extremely important for us as women to understand that we can still maintain our independence while also being captivated by a love received from someone other than our own…

-Sho

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