…You were just a kid. You were not prepared to live a life that you had no prior experience. I would hope you have really understood that you were not to blame. Dysfunction was normal, so when peace came, you ran away. But you ran in the wrong direction, into the wrong hands. Not understanding that people knew your weakness. But see, you were just a kid. I really want you to understand that you were a kid. Innocence was stolen but never returned. I just really wished you didn’t slowly fade away. You lost yourself. You drifted away from where no one could find you. I wanted you to realize that you could not mask the pain of emptiness. It was there, right in front of you, and you failed to realize it. But you see that’s what happens when you lack guidance that you are supposed to get from adults. I wish you would have understood that you could not change your surroundings. You had no control over what was going around you because you were a kid Shaurice. A Child, who was incapable of taking care of herself…and you were not supposed to be equipped to know how.
You were smart Shaurice, practically brilliant! You were beautiful, full of gifts and charisma gave to you from the Most Highest. You didn’t need him to tell you that. He knew you desired love, so he used it against you. But you see, you can’t express an emotion that wasn’t there. Don’t blame yourself for having to grow up so fast. You were just being prepared for a race, that unfortunately you still didn’t win…damn. I just wanted you to see the testimony in the trauma. But its kind of hard to see the sunshine while the clouds are following you. Stop apologizing for the immature mistakes that you weren’t taught were actual mistakes. Consider those test runs. Allow your mind to understand that you didn’t miss out on a childhood, but you instead were on a journey that prepared you for an amazing adulthood. Release those hurts and pain because they will truly paralyze you when you get older. You used the only tool that molded you into the delicate queen you are now – even though that tool was Pain.
As always you’ve topped it.. We grow from pain, we learn from pain, but most importantly we love from pain. We don’t ever want people to experience hurt that we’ve experienced, so we tend to either love that much harder or tend to push the ones we love away. Love you girl!! You’ve come so far, and I’m so proud of you!!!
Such powerful words! What I love about this letter is the how much you told your younger self to “let it go”. So often we get caught up in reflecting on the past and holding on to those hurts that we don’t realize that we’re still that hurt little girl. However, when you get to a point where you can release the pain of your past, and the misery of your mistakes, then you’ve arrived into adulthood, and you can you then use those test and trials as your testimony.
Such powerful words Sho! What I love about this letter is how much grace you showed your younger self. So often we get caught up in reflecting on the past and holding on to those hurts that we don’t realize that we’re still that hurt little girl. However, when you get to a point where you can release the pain of your past, and the misery of your mistakes, then you’ve arrived into womanhood, and you can you then use those test and trials as your testimony. I’m glad you’ve found your lane and you’re dominating it! Remember, your past was not a punishment, it was preparation?
Beautiful write and yes after u forgive there is Light!!!
This was beautifully written. We were taught to forgive others at such a young age, but it wasn’t till I became an adult I was taught to forgive myself. I still have to remind myself not to be so hard on myself. I love this girl.
Well done! The biggest and most important word is FORGIVENESS. We have to start forgiving ourselves because we are so forgiving of others.
“Allow your mind to understand that you didn’t miss out on a childhood, but you instead were on a journey that prepared you for an amazing adulthood.”…This resonated with me, so much. I am working on not being disappointed in myself for not making certain decision when I was younger. I have a hard time forgiving myself but this is leading me in the direction that I can. Thank you for this! One day I too will be stronger enough to write such an amazing letter to my younger self!